Something that often falls victim to heavy edits of my work is the rhythm of individual sentences. Most often because in editing I’ve disrupted the ‘parallelism’.
A parallel structure in a sentence involves using the same structure, word forms or word patterns when creating lists and using co-ordinating conjunctions.
The doctor told me I should get a lot of sleep, that I should not eat too much, and to drink lots of water.
The doctor told me that I should get a lot of sleep, that I should not eat too much, and that I should drink lots of water.
The doctor told me that I should get a lot of sleep, not eat too much, and drink lots of water.
In this example a parallel structure is created by repeating “that I should” for each of the doctor’s recommendations either literally or, as in the last version, implying it. In the next example the parallelism is in the use of the same word form.
Joe spends his days fixing his car and in the loo with his crosswords.
Joe spends his days fixing his car and doing crosswords in the loo.
Parallelism creates rhythm, spreads emphasis evenly over ‘equal elements’ in the sentence and increases readability.